): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
