My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think your dad took our porno
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
