i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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