Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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