Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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