I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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