i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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