Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
