I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
