you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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