mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
