My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
