that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
