Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
