what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
