this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
