we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
