I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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