i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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