awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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