I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
