So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
