What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
