I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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