dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
