Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
