Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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