I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
