Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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