his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
