Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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