just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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