Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
