who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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