You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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