It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
