exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
