she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
