Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
