The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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