he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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