My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
