hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
