dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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