That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
