I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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