How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
