Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
