Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
