We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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